22nd August, 2009 - Butterfly Shot

The silence is oppressive in this room as white as snow
I should be back at home but couldn’t manage it to go
It’s killing me to see you weak, once you were so strong
But every power, every brightness has gone now for so long

It’s a little bit too much for me, I have to step out of the room
Only some more days, the doctors would assume
Breathing calm, I’m really trying but would like to crash my head
I’m making my way back to you to sit beside your bed

I’m struggling for the right/wrong words, for lies about the pain
I’m saying (I know you don’t believe) that the sun shines after rain
But we both know without a word, the rain won’t have an ending
Likelier it IS the end but we’ll just keep pretending

The medicines don’t work, you’re telling, and that we’re both adrift
We can’t do anything but wait, maybe end is a gift
You’re clinging to my t-shirt, so afraid, I do believe
‘Cause they all and even you and me are afraid to leave

You’re eyes are glazing over, you’re swallowing the fear
You’re slowly leaning over to whisper in my ear
Quietly held back sobbing, choking the urge to cry
You’re whispering your death warrant “Everyone has to die.”